• Jennie Askins LC

Most Powerful Way to Connect to another is to Actively Listen

Updated: Dec 14, 2019

Have you ever noticed when you are in a conversation with someone you aren't fully listening?

Many times when we are in conversation with friends, co-workers, our significant other, or our own children we aren't fully listening, we think we are, but our minds are wandering else where. We are not fully focused on what the person in front of us is trying to tell us, we are even missing signals of body language because we are not fully engaged. Most of what others are trying to tell us is through non-verbal communication. While in conversation we are so focused on what to say next and what is going on in our own life, that we are not taking the time to give the person in front of us the respect they need.

To be a good listener is a skill. I know because I am a talker, so I had to hone it back and work on becoming a better listener, It takes practice and patience. If you want to truly connect with others on a deeper level then it is time to step back, BREATHE and listen to what others are truly saying, especially our kids they could be giving us very important information about something that happened to them at school and we are only half listening. When kids feel they aren't being fully heard they disconnect, they feel like we don't care about them, they stop telling us things.

Tips on how to become a better Listener

- Make eye contact

- Sit across from the person or face them while they are talking

- Don't think about what you are going to say next, FULLY LISTEN to what they are saying

-Wait 30 seconds after they are finished talking before you start talking, to really take in what was said or in case they are not yet finished

- Ask questions..Asking questions means you care

- Give the person in front of you your full attention (no phone, computer, etc.)

- If your child is trying to talk to you STOP what you are doing and LISTEN..this makes them feel Loved and Cared for

-You may not agree with what the person is saying but sympathize with them. We all want to feel understood

When we are listening we are learning. By listening we learn more about ourselves, humanity, and the people we care about. Being engaged in conversation with another person is sacred. I believe we are all one, when we listen we CONNECT. The next time you are in conversation fully take in what is being said without saying a word. We all know motivational speakers help people because they deliver a powerful message well so do Motivational Listeners they deliver the message you are loved, cared for and I care about what you have to say.

Our kids especially need to know we see them and hear them.

"Listening is often the only thing needed to help someone" Unknown

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